~ * ~

Thursday, April 20, 2006

false pretenses

life's coarser intercourse
oft leads us in directions best
left untraveled
roads fraught with peril
to heart and soul
stealing tomorrow
from the jaws of today
truth lies in the soft
sighs of passion, the warmth
of a word and skin shared
without remorse we leave
only the shell of past pretenses
and the faint hope that our
hours will bleed no more

~ ~ ~


5Beautiful
04/11/06 by vella_ms

all the way round each word. wonderfully expressed.

5nice!
04/11/06 by cloudy

I loved this: "stealing tomorrow from the jaws of today." Exactly what some of us do. Nice work.

5fabulous...
04/11/06 by ABSTRUSE

but I expect no less. Abs.

5soft
04/11/06 by 4degrees

sighs passion me reminder again of truths, lies and make believe just don't convince me so much anymore. nice poem ma'am. curt

5Elegantly expressed.
04/11/06 by Liar

I love that end... "... we leave only the shell of past pretenses and the faint hope that our hours will bleed no more"

5Very nice
04/11/06 by neonurotic

I agree with your commenter, Liar. The end of this poem shines. Good work!

5~~
04/11/06 by LeBroz in —NY - too far from Atlanta

Typical~no matter the name~always writing in such high quality, leaving the rest of the pretend poets struggling to meet the bar you always set so high.

5Lovely
04/11/06 by Honey123

poem, gorgeous! this part: "roads fraught with peril to heart and soul" gave me such a pang in the middle of my tummy... ~Hony

5Just put me down....
04/11/06 by sandspike

for what everyone has already written. Good JOB.

5Nicely Done
04/11/06 by McKenna

You had me at "life's coarser intercourse..." At first reading, the lack of punctuation threw me; on the second and subsequent readings, I find it flows just fine without. I liked the imagery created with word combinations and pairs like "jaws of today" and "skin shared." I'm curious about the use of "hours [that]will bleed no more." You convey so much in so few lines; your talent is obvious. You tell just enough, but not too much. Nicely done.

5No false pretenses about this!
04/12/06 by Wanton Vixxxen in reading perfection confection in Pa

This poem plunges to the core of the soul. If I had to choose one line from this poem it would be...uhhh...uhmmm... no, it would be impossible for Me to choose just one line Alessia. Each word married with the next and agreeing with another commentator, no punctuation would have enhanced this piece one bit. It is pure perfection! Vixxx

5^
12/06/06 by Bill Dada

Ya, what they said. Very nice.

5beautiful
01/18/07 by vella_ms

how easily you wove your words to simply state feelings, i think, we've all had before. god, i marvel at your talent.

5Beautiful
03/26/07 by maggot420

Wonderfully written little gem. I love this.

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