push

it's over
abundance of will waning
weightless tug of worth
push pinning hopes
pining away
pulling - back and forth
through days free
falling through the wisp
per wants born naked
in dark nested need
full, filling the still life
less touch and go; story
dying before our berth

~ ~ ~

Compact
06/17/06 by Liar
Almost overwhelmingly compact language. It takes focus to follow. But damn, worth it.

nice write
06/17/06 by My Erotic Trail
I enjoyed your poem (~_~)

I agree with Liar
06/19/06 by Belle_Ringer in USA
This is incredibly compact, dense I would even call it. I will have to read it many times to realize all I want in it.

I will be coming back to this one.
07/08/06 by
I would call it more mercury than lead--shifting sinuously from meaning to meaning, depending on the temperature of the reader.

Deep
07/08/06 by Awful Arthur
So deep that it may be bottomless. I found something new in each line every time I read it over again. At first, I thought that I was finding unintended meanings and effects but upon further readings, I think not--I'm finding very little of all that is there. I was particularly struck by the lines, "weightless tug of worth" and "dying before our berth" and the unjoined "wisp per."

an astonishingly good example....
07/09/06 by sack in USA
of "less is more!"

Short, sweet....
02/01/07 by Amyfriend in Ontario, Canada
and incredibly good.