wither (visually)

A visual representation by my swirlfriend! I'm going to make a poster of it for my bedroom wall. :)



Edited to add: POSTER!

Two-Thirds

Two-Thirds is now available as an ebook.

Below are the public comments received on Literotica, when the story was posted as part of its 2009 Valentine's Contest:

"Unbelievable"
01/21/09 by Anonymous
No, no, no, now I understand why you've been going around giving everyone a 5 score hoping that they'd give you one, too, Imp. What was that? That was your Valentine's Day story? Have you lost your mind? Don't you know what Valentine's Day is about? If I was someone who never heard of Valentine's Day and read your story to explain to me what Valentine's Day was about, I'd go buy a laptop and surf the net for porn. "What are you doing, Honey? You've been up in your room on your laptop surfing porn." "I'm celebrating Valentine's Day." You're punishment for submitting this story is that must skip a turn and cannot enter the next theme contest. "Unbelievable."

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after the first flush
01/21/09 by Anonymous in South Africa
Bitter-sweet, and really nicely written. I wish there were more stories about what happens after happily-ever-after.

This is certainly well written.
01/21/09 by Anonymous
But what's the point? Where's the story? Nothing really happened. Nothing was resolved. Nothing changed these characters. It left me flat.

well written
01/21/09 by Anonymous in Texas
Phenomenally sad, and unfortunately completely plausible, but well-written. That marriage is already dead, waiting for the coroner/judge to make the pronouncement. -- KK in Texas
Well I liked it
01/21/09 by Anonymous in UK
I liked the writing. Love is sweet however it can turn sour. Kess could have done more to sweeten her cause. Liked the fact she still managed to get off (last paragraph) I like a girl with imagination; that's assuming good sex is 80% in the mind. Read some of you poems too...very good
Well written
01/21/09 by Mz_minx in UK
It made me a bit teary-eyed, I felt liek reaching out and giving Kess a huge hug. I agree with KK in Texas on the first part of their comment, but have to diasgree that the marriage is over. Sometimes communication can end up exactly what you need but the last thing you feel like doing - if Kess was a friend of mine I'd urge to try and discuss how she is feeling with her husband. Ah well, it's just a story and I'm rambling ;) Good luck in the contest too!
Horrifying story
01/21/09 by bruce22 in South America
But well written and er,worthy of our attention. Poor Tess, she should have pulled out a dildo and masturbated instead of drinking the liquor. ///two-thirds of what?
very artistic
01/21/09 by PositiveThinker
I must give you credit. This was a very artistic story and even though you didn't develop your characters as much as I feel the need to do with my stories, I received a lot of imagery from reading yours. Good luck in the contest.

Wonderful writing
01/21/09 by starrkers
You show so much in so few words. But I kind of feel it's cheating to call it a Valentine's story.

Unsatisfying
01/21/09 by PrincessErin
A sad story which was very well written. Valentine's Day doesn't have to be romantic.

I liked it...
01/21/09 by KillerRomance
Yes, I thought that is was rather REAL, and appropriate for the 21st century V-day. Good luck in the contest! <3>

Almost too true
01/21/09 by DG Hear
You wonder how many real relationships are like this. Sad but True. Good luck in the contest. DG

Another.
01/21/09 by TwoHOTFORU69 in USA
Another good story, but taking a different direction/liked it though as it was like the truth in so many marriages in the last 20 years or so.! Hope the Judges like it as much as I did. '5' and thanks.

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Very well written
01/22/09 by Boxlicker101
and sad, but also realistic. I have to wonder why she married the guy in the first place if he has always been like that. Good luck in th contest.
a beautiful work.
01/22/09 by magicmouth69 in USA
Truly the story touches me. It speaks of something both tragic and real.
I don't think . . .
01/23/09 by Nirvanadragones
I've ever cried after reading a blow-job scene . . . So much emotion. An angle and perspective I am sure many can relate to. Thank you for writing it. It's much better than stereotypical Valentine's day melodrama.
dark story
01/24/09 by Anonymous in Canada
it speakes to too many failing/failed relationships. For such a short story it spoke volumes. Thank you for something atypical in this website. A wonderfully dark contrast to the usual.
cheating!
01/24/09 by Anonymous
This shouldn't be a contest submission. You fall into the cynical group that uses a brief mention to worm in for publicity. Also, the story is unbelievable because you give no light and shade - she is loving and wronged and he is just a porn-surfing shithead. So why is he there? As someone else said, there is no tension here because there is no progress - the end is the same as the beginning and, with the lack of development, why should we care?
Happens all too often
01/28/09 by Anonymous in USA
I was taken in by your read because it is all too familiar! Not only to me, but to other women as well. In the world of "corporate America lunch table talk with the girls", this is all too common & not often addressed. I applaud you! Adrraiya
Very sad
02/05/09 by Saucyminx in USA
and perfectly lovely. Thank you.

Brilliant
02/08/09 by past_perfect
Reality sucks sometimes (pun intended), and you manage to transport that feeling perfectly. Kudos, this is an excellent piece. Good luck in the contest.

Too Depressing
02/08/09 by DecadentAngel
Alessia, I normally enjoy your stories. However, this one just didn't do it for me. I guess part of it is that it doesn't fit my idea of a Valentine's story. I don't want to read about a failing marriage with mediocre sex for Valentine's day. I lived that enough in my own marriage. Of course, your writing is excellent as usual. I can't fault you for that at all. Had you followed the parameters of the contest, I would have scored you higher. As it is, you failed to meet the theme criteria.

beautifully sad...
02/11/09 by Chloewaits in canada
It was very poignant, and touching. I felt drawn in to her despair, and even hope. I thought you captured the ambivalence and conflicting desires beautifully. Great story

Preditors & Editors

The year-end polling results are now official, and once again:

everybody's hero



Thanks for your support!